If Mother's Day Is Hard for You, Here's How to Cope
Leigh Weingus •
As May creeps closer, we're reminded of an important fact on blogs, social media platforms, commercials, and even at our local drugstore: Mother's Day is coming!
Mother's Day is on Sunday, May 14, and many people have an uncomplicated relationship with the holiday. It's a time to celebrate moms, giving us an excuse to honor the women we love (and hopefully we receive flowers, a nice gift, and some serious R&R if we're moms ourselves.)
But for some, mother's day is incredibly triggering. Maybe you lost your mom, you're struggling to become a mom, or you lost a child. Or maybe you've chosen not to have children, and the holiday makes you feel left out. Whatever your circumstance, it's completely fine to have a complicated, or even bad, relationship with this holiday.
All this to say: If Mother's Day is hard for you, here's how to cope.
Take Some Time Off Social Media
Mother's Day weekend is all about moms, and that's especially true on social media. On Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, people are posting pictures of their moms, their wives, and their kids. While it's certainly sweet if you're the person on the receiving end of these posts, they can be incredibly triggering for people who have a hard time around Mother's Day for whatever reason.
Do yourself a favor: Delete your apps, or just avoid them for the weekend (or longer, if you'd like). By the time you return, things will be business as usual.
Plan a Great Day for Yourself
Luckily, Mother's Day falls on a Sunday—which means that most likely, you don't have to work. So take advantage of the day to plan the ultimate self-care day for yourself, whether that means visiting a spa, reading in a cafe for hours, or spending the day with your best friend. If you plan a great Mother's Day for yourself right now that doesn't actually have anything to do with Mother's Day, you might actually find yourself looking forward to it.
As a quick disclaimer, this is not for everyone, and you should never feel the pressure to manifest anything — especially when it comes to sensitive topics like this one.
But if you've been trying to become a mother for a while, it may help to spend the day manifesting that dream. Maybe you imagine your life a year from now, with a baby. What will that look like? Where will you live? What will the nursery be like? While for some people this may feel painful, for others it can be a positive, hope-inspiring exercise.
Let People Around You Know That Mother's Day Is Tough
Sometimes, people say insensitive things without quite realizing what they're doing. They may not realize mother's day is triggering for you, so they ask about your plans, or maybe they ask you to go with them to look for a Mother's Day gift for their mom when you've lost yours.
Simply letting the people close to you know that Mother's Day is difficult for you ahead of time can work wonders for your mental health, because they'll know it's triggering for you and do their best to be sensitive. As long as you let them know in a gentle way, they'll be more than likely to honor your request to keep the Mother's Day chatter to a minimum — or any other specific requests you have.
If You've Lost Your Mother, Take Some Time to Honor Her
Again, this tip isn't for everyone, and some people may find this act to be too difficult. But if you've lost your mother, visiting her gravesite or writing a letter to her can help you sort through those complicated feelings of grief that never quite go away, no matter how long it's been.
If you're dreading Mother's Day, go ahead and write about it. Write about the complicated relationship you have with your mother, the dread you have around seeing another pregnancy announcement on Instagram, or how much you miss your mom. Journaling is one of the best coping mechanisms out there, so go ahead and lean into it.
The good news? Mother's Day comes but once a year, and after next month, you don't have to worry about it for another year. And hey, that's something worth celebrating, right?
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